Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Pat's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, January 11th, 2009
7:33 pm	Thinking in Florida Once more I'm in florida alone...This time I had some things to think hard about... Most of my decisions were actually made before I left so I'm wandering the streets of Orlando for a week without anything serious to think about. Wich is good actually it's going to be a relaxing vacation instead of a stressful one. First of my last entry made a mention concerning a relationship... well no big surprises there it went bust... I should have known it would but I had to try. I was happy living alone but I had to try anyway... So I let my heart melt again... and guess what I got hurt again. I'm really thinking about a become a heartless S.O.B. that way I wouldn't get hurt so easily. I know it's not me and I couldn't pull it off. So I should just freeze my heart and not let anybody in anymore and this time for good. The only this I should consider is having a fuck friend... A hell of lot less trouble than an actual girlfriend. And I know who I would want but I don't think she'd agree. I guess I'll have to try and ask her once I come back to Mtl in a week. The other I had to think about was about 90% resolve last weekend. Just have to work out the details with Vic. Then there's always the job, but on that point I just decided to let things happens. Right now they're not pissing me off and I'm taking it easy. That's it for now... Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
9:28 pm	Let's see if I can make a post of the mess inside my head... They say the more things changes the more they stay the same... I guess that's true. I'm trying to start (again) a relationship with a girl 10 years younger than me. It's starting slower than anything I've done before... She testing the water... And I guess I am too... I've been burn down this road before so I'm taking things slowly. I've seen her twice in the last 2 weeks but I don't know when I'll see her again... she has a really crazy schedule... We've talked alot, we seem to want the same things out of a relationship. The novelty is that her parents (at least her mother) doesn't like me. Well at least she thinks I'm not for her little girl... That's new... I usually win the mother over before I win the girl over. Well she says she doesn't care what her mom says... And she says I've scored points with her mother last friday because I helped with the supper and the cleaning afterward. Now she has given a challenge... (with more to come apparently). I have to go to bed before 23:00 on work nights. That's going to be easy enough... I know the other challenges will probably involve my eating habits and things like that... As I said to her I'll try... but I hope there will be reward after... she said that there will indeed be. I hope I get to see her a bit more in the coming weeks so I can figure if I'm still single or not. ;-) Current Mood: pensive (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
2:49 pm	Election Day It's election day... As usual I'll go vote because I have to... This year it seems even more pointless than usual. All the candidates are assholes, their programs sucks even more than usual. I don't believe in any of the crap they're selling. So I'll have to get off my butt and go put an "X" besides a name. I'll NOT vote Harper... Even if I like the fact that he cut 2% off the sale tax... I can't vote for Bush's lap dog. I'll NOT vote for Dion, beside the fact that he's a Liberal, he's just a bumbling idot. I'm NOT green by any stretch of the imagination. (I want a Mustang after all) My vote will probably go to the Bloc on general principle... Even if I'm curious to see what Layton's NPD would do if given the chance. That was my two cents on this year's election... See you the next time Harper minority governement fails... Current Mood: apathetic Current Music: none (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 17th, 2008
4:25 pm	Well I'm back... So you know it's either very positive or very negative... If you guessed the later you are a winner... I'm back as simple agent at work... I'm still a temp because the boss don't think I deserve to get my permanent status back... This sucks. At least I've got almost no deduction on my pay so it's bigger... The job still sucks bad... Peeps are quitting left and right... And about 95% of the staff is looking for another job. You know what the worst part is... I actually love the actual job I do... I just hate all the politics and the environnement of the office... Make me work from home on a regular schedule and I probably wouldn't be so eager to find something else... On the personnal front well, still single... getting use to the idea of being that way for the rest of my life... or at least the forseeable future. Am I sad about that... well yes and no... Gotta go... I'm still at work... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
8:57 pm	Well... I thought it would be heaven but it's turning to hell... That damn job being a senior is worst than being a simple agent... More responsability... no more money... And I'm on call 24/7 and can't have a life... This sucks bad... Bad enough to get me drinking alone... I hate when I do that... I don't want to turn into an alcoholic... The bosses don't understand shit... And now I might end up back as agent because I refuse to let work destroy my life... Anyway it's just temporary until I find another job. I almost quit today after a meeting with my boss. Things are getting out of hand... everybody is quitting. I just want out... I just want a nice 9 to 5 job that I don't have to take home. see ya Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 8th, 2008
7:29 pm	Call me... EL SENIOR!!!! For once this going to be a relatively positive entry. Right now it's on an handshake deal but it should be confirm by the beginning of next week. I'm the new senior at my call center. Does it pays more NO!!! Sadly but a least I'll have a chance at a pay raise by the end of the year...something I can't have on the floor because I'm supposedly at the salary cap for a technician... So no pay raise... more responsability and even 1 week per month of 24/7 pager support. That sucks... but I can't stay on the floor for ever so I had to accept the "promotion" if only to show them that I want to move. We'll see how it goes... On the personnal front well... still single... no one in sight... not even close. Oh well I'll end that post here so it stays "positive" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
7:14 pm	An update on my ever changing life... Just read my last entry and realise that even if it hasn't been that long there's a lot of change in my life since. Let's get rid of the professional side first. I'm quitting the Sherbrooke job first thing tomorrow morning. I've had a meeting with my former boss during the holiday and she offered me my old job back without losing any seniority. I even have the possibility to go to another departement if I want to. So I'm coming back home to Montréal real soon. On another subject I had supper with Dd on december 21th. It went well, talking about everything and nothing... until I mentionned the reason I try to get her to talk to me. She tells me she's over me, and that we can be friends but to never hope for something more. I'm honestly happy for her that she's over me. It's hard on the ego but I can live with that. I thought I had more to say... but I'm lacking inspiration... More later. Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
7:01 pm	Houston (or should I say Sherbrooke)... We have a problem... Almost got fired today... in fact if I don't bow down to what they want I'll be fired by mid-january... So I'll try to suck it up to make it to X-Mas and get that paycheck. And When I come back january 3rd... I'll hand in my resignation saying that I thought long and hard during the X-mas vacation and that it was for the best. Wich will be true... So I'll be stuck with an appart in Shebrooke for another 5 months... I'll survive paying that... I'll have to pay another Videotron moving... that's going to hurt my bank account... Anyway... I hate the way the boss do her thing and she hates the way I do mine so it's really for the best. Now I'll just have to figure out if I try to find something else or if I go back to my old job that I do really well and sit on it while I build back my self-esteem that has been totally destroyed in Sherbrooke. If it weren't for the x-mas pay I would have quit right there when she was talking me down. Anyway enough about that freaking place... When I go back to Mtl, I'll have no excuses no to try to make things right with Dd. It's totally crazy the last few weeks have been the worst of the last 2 years alone... I can't get her out of my mind... It's like a curse or a spell or something... I know there's a bit of magic running in the blood of that family so I hope it's nothing like that. I'll have to find a way to make her understand that I want her back in my life. That's it... let's just say that this day hasn't been fun... And I don't see many fun days ahead for the next week and a half. Damn it's true that I almost only post when something is wrong... Current Music: Nickelback - Fight For All The Wrong Reasons (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
10:15 pm	Need to blow off some steam... Ok first a word of warning... this entry might get ugly I don't where I'm going with it but I need to empty my bag. I've been in hell for the last few months even if I didn't always show it and now I'm about ready to blow... First that Sherbrooke thing was a mistake... Yes I needed to do it, I'm glad I did it because now I know that I have to stay in Montreal or at least the greater Montreal region. But now I have to get out of here without having to hurt my family especially my grandma. If I don't get fired first I'll stay through X-Mas because getting two weeks paid for working two days is kind of hard to turn down. But after X-Mas, I'll start seriously looking at moving back to Mtl. I can't stand that little appartment, I can't stand that city... Ok it's not as if I really go out in Mtl but I have options... wich I don't have here... I'll have to see if I can find another job in Mtl... Worse case scenario I'll go back to my old department at CGI, I'm sure the boss would be very happy to have me back... I was her best tech after all. Yeah I know I hated every minute of it when I was back there... but as they say you don't know what you have until you lost it... Talking about that... Being away from everything made me realise that I'm still deeply in love with DD. Of course she hates my guts because of the way that I left her. I can't really blame her... I'm too chicken to call and try to makes thing right... I would so much like to meet her and have a talk with so she can see in my eyes the pain I feel at being away from her and knowing that she hates me. </b></a>sorceressquartz if you read this I would very much appreciate if you could talk to your sister, at least see if she's open to talk to me. I know I'm a taboo subject at the house but I would be very grateful if you could try. If you have to you can show her this entry or my journal... I'm feeling a bit better getting this off my chest... finally it wasn't that bad of an entry but I feel better now... if I can find a way to get back with the love of my life... everything will be fine. Current Music: Brian Adams - I Can't Stop Loving You (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
7:30 pm	The doc strike 2 Had a call from Sherbrooke today... My appointement is next tuesday. I'm daring to hope that this time it will happened and I'll finally get the damned job. I can't stand the one I have right now... I'll see how it goes but I might quit anyway just to force me to get something else. Everything else is pretty calm... Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 29th, 2007
11:01 am	changement de plan.... Sherbrooke vient de me rappeler... leur doc ne sera pas disponible mardi prochain donc le rendez-vous est remis à une date ultérieure mais je ne sais pas quand. Ils sont supposés me rappelé la semaine prochaine... Je commence à être tanné du niaisage... je veux savoir ce que je dois faire... Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
6:20 pm	Sherbrooke finale... Got a call this morning from Sherbrooke's HR departement. I just have to pass the medical and the job is mine. A salary that's 2K higher than what I have now for less hours per week. So next tuesday I'm heading to Sherbrooke to have the medical and if they clear me, I'll probably give my notice on the same day or on the next day. And if everything goes right I'll start working there on september the 24th. I'll probably keep the condo for the probation period and than put it up for sale after I'm sure everything is working out good in Sherbrooke. That's it for now... I'll keep posting as event warrant... Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 26th, 2007
11:58 pm	Wildwood alone... I never thought I would find Wildwood boring but being there alone for a week made me realise that as much as you love a place, the people you're there with count more than the place itself. And each step I took there reminded me of when I was there with Andrea... The place we shared our first real kiss. I've spend countless hours remebering every details of that week with her there... It was probably the happiest moment of my entire life. I was a the same motel... of course it wasn't the same room but anyway... When I was in the pool where we almost kissed on that faithful june 29th, I was feeling more alone than I have ever felt in my life. Then those long walks on the beach or the boardwalk... trying to forget what an ass I had been, but always rembering her sweet kisses or the feeling of her hand in mine... Just thinking about it... I still feel her ring on my finger. I would give anything to have her back. If I'd believe in that kind of stuff I think I'd sell my soul to hold her in my arms once more. I'll have to find the courage to talk to her and see if she's ready to forgive me and give us a second chance... Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Véronic DiCaire - A Fairy Tale (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 9th, 2007
10:26 pm	Sherbrooke part III A small update on the Sherbrooke situation. Today I've learned that the city called some of the people I had gave them as reference. So this look like a good sign that they're really interested in me. I'm really starting to get my hopes up about this thing. On other things they're nothing new... Still alone, but with the Sherbrooke looming on the horizon, I'm not making any effort to change that. My current job still sucks... I just recalculated my salary and realised I'm making a lot less than I thought I was... I no longer have any kind of motivation going in. I'm not planning to still be at CGI in the fall, unless they convinced me to stay meaning a lot of $$$$$. Current Mood: pensive (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
6:35 pm	Sherbrooke part II Had the interview today... went well. Now I'll have to wait 3 to 4 weeks before knowing if I continue the process or not. The day didn't start well though I had another interview downtown Montreal but couldn't make it due to problems with the metro. So I called them to cancel... HAven't heard from them since. But as it turned out if I'd gone to the first interview, I would have been late to the one Sherbrooke due to the amount of traffic and detour due to road work. So was it faith telling me to believe that Sherbrooke is my destiny. I hope so. We'll see in a couple of weeks.. That's it for now... Current Mood: Melting... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
6:51 pm	Sherbrooke and other stuff... I thought I had failed the test in Sherbrooke... Looks like I was wrong... They called me today to setup an interview for next week. So next Thursday 1:00pm I have to be in Sherbrooke... I just can't believe it. I'll have to deal another day off for personnal reason... They won't like me at all. And I don't care because the money and the schedule are better in Sherbrooke. Still on the possibility of another job, I've got a call from an agency in Montreal that got my resume... I don't like agencies but from what I hear that one pays really well. I'll try to setup a meeting with them some time next week too. If the money is as good as the rumors suggested (50k-60k) I'll jump ship. For the rest my life is the same boring thing as it's been for a long while... Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Simple Plan - I'd do anything (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 9th, 2007
8:26 pm	WOW... and no I'm not talking about Word of Warcraft Remember a while back I applied for a job in Sherbrooke... I thought this thing was dead... Well I got a meeting in Sherbrooke friday morning they want to see me. It's going to be the technical exam part of the interview process. I'm actually shocked that they call me back... A guy living in Montreal applying for a job in Sherbrooke... I was pretty sure they were going to consider me a joke. If this thing evolve I'm going to have a hell of lot of thinking to do. Well that's it for now... I just have to convince my boss to give me my friday off now.... Current Mood: shocked (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 7th, 2007
1:03 pm	In the office... Yeah it's my turn... about every 5 months I have to work a saturday. I've been here since 8:00am and I've got ONE call (It lasted less than 3 min). Less than 3 hours left in that damn shift. I've read a book and started another. I'm wondering what to do next. There's some kind of "parade" on René-Lévesque so I have something to watch from my window. I don't know what it's about but it look boring from up here. On another subject I'm hook on 24... I didn't really think I would like that series but I've almost completed season 1 and I've bought season 2. The concept is addictive. That's it for now... I'll continue dying from boredome until the end of my shift. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
9:37 pm	It's hot... Let's talk about that damn weather... It should be +40 when I have access to a pool and +20 when I don't... And it should never be that humid. Now that I've gotten that off my chest let's move on. The only positive thing about the office is that they have A/C so I don't suffer from the heat when I'm there. Tomorrow I have a 12hrs shift but on friday my weekend begins at noon. And next week I've got the worst schedule possible at our office... 11h30-20h00 mon, tue, wed,fri and 8h00-16h00 on saturday. I hate that one... There's too many movies coming out that I want to see... Playing now there's Ocean's 13 and The rise of the silver surfer. Coming soon there's Live free or die hard, Transformers, Harry Potter and couple of others that I've forgotten at the moment. My vacations are too far away... I'll try to find a way to cool myself off before going to bed... Current Mood: hot Current Music: Sheryl Crow - No One Said It Would Be Easy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
8:47 pm	An update on my life... The friends situation seems to be going back to normal... The talk that Steph and I had helped put my mind at ease... I know I have paranoid tendancies and they've now been put to rest. (for now at least). The job front well that's another story. My TL is trying to give me things to do instead of taking calls but there's really not that much to do in a call center except taking calls. I'm really not motivated... And I've send my resume to the city of Sherbrooke they're looking for a computer technician... As of now I really don't know if I want them to call me or not... It's a nice opportunity but it will take me away from my friends... Sherbrooke isn't that far and I could easily come back on the weekend... And it would put me closer to my family... Especially now that I know that my dad plans to move to Sherbrooke in the coming years... Nothing certain yet but if I do get the job... I'll have a hell of a lot of thinking to do... I thought I had made a life for myself in Montreal but could I really turn down the chance to finally leave CGI for a job with a better salary and less hours in a town where the cost of life is lower than here??? Of course if I win the loto 6/49 tonight plans will go in a totally different direction... That's all for tonight. Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone (2 Comments |Comment on this)